I think my mental health is at an all time low. I find myself reaching for meaningless shows over working on my passions. I’m intentionally sleeping through my alarms in the morning, getting out of bed at the last possibly moment. I’m stressed – financially. I know that. That’s been an issue for almost a year now. Causing anxiety moments (I wouldn’t call them attacks) whenever I raise my heart rate.
I’m the type of person that fights through this sort of thing. I look for the light at the end of the tunnel. I tell myself that there’s a way out, even if I can’t see it. I know that I’ll survive this. I know that I’ll get over it. For the time being, I just need to accept that I have to keep fighting through it.
HEALTHY EATING & FITNESS
I’m trying to get back on the healthy eating train. With 10kgs gained back from the 20kgs I lost, it feels like a defeat. Like I’ve let myself down. I was SO CLOSE to getting to where I’ve always wanted to be. SO CLOSE. And I let it slip right through my fingers.
I have a new plan, and it’s all in motion. I get up at 6am to make sure I can go for my walk and get ready before I get my ass to work. I spend a lot of my time at work walking the length of the store. And then 5 days a week – when masks aren’t compulsory any more – I’ll be attending the gym. For now, I’m going to resort to online workouts and see how they go.
THIS WEEKS EVENTS
It’s been an alright week. We’ve been pretty lucky up in Brisbane with COVID-19, having escaped a lot of the cases. Currently, as I’m writing this post (1/7/21) we have four clusters with no new cases today. We’re currently in a 3-day lockdown with mandatory masks. A week ago, no one was wearing masks because the only cases were in NSW and VIC.
I also had a job interview that I’m very hopeful for. It’s like my dream job. The type of job that you cross every finger and toe for, hoping and praying that you get it. I really, really want it. I have no updates yet, but I’ll keep you all posted on it!
I had a pretty bad week this week, and to cope with the mental stress I got myself a cheesecake. I’ve been craving it for weeks. I know I’m supposed to be being good and eating healthy, and I am, I swear! Just right after I finish this cheesecake.